What exactly is family? In the bible family is used to describe the people in your household, your blood relatives and your spiritual family. The bible has 100's of verses from Genesis to Revelation where God describes what a good family is a bad family and what God expects from a godly family. God had the family unit in mind to fill this earth since the very beginning of creation. His whole plan was for a godly man and a godly woman to commit to one another by marriage and have godly children and replenish the earth.

Satan knows how much family means to God and to this world. That's why he is always attacking the family unit. He attacks us as individuals to bring wife against husband, children against parents, siblings against each other—whatever it takes to make the family unit fall apart.
The Christian family is one of the greatest assets to our nation and to this world. Strong people have strong families, and strong families make a strong church, government, and nation.

The bible says in these last days before the rapture that families will suffer and fall apart under the pressure if you are not strong and committed to one another, plus you must have the spirit of God to bind you with sincere love and direct your daily path and choices. You need God and the bible (which is God's words) to be the foundation of your family if you are going to make it in these last days. The bible says in Deuteronomy 6 and 11 to read the word of God and teach it to your children and write the word on your door post. In doing so you make YOURSELF to prosper and experience the goodness of God. You yourself have to choose to live life God's way. It is then your responsibility to teach it to your household and your children. Immerse yourself in the word of God.

There are all kinds of families in this world. There are single unmarried adults, no children. Married adults, no children. Single unmarried adults with children. Married adults with children. There are couples with children between the two of them. Blended families where each partner has children from previous relationships. And couples who have adopted children. There is absolutely nothing wrong with any of these families in God's eyes. The problem is the choices we make with one another within our indivisual families.

Family are people you know you can count on and who is going to love you and be there for you, unconditionally, no matter what. This starts out with your parents and siblings. But your family might be other people who you have been able to count on in your life. If you did not have good parents and siblings God may have brought Aunts, Uncles, Grandparents or friends into your life. Some children are adopted. That is fine. Somebody had a lot of love to give and they choose you to give it to. Everybody needs a good family that they can rely on and share true love with.

God uses the family unit to train future generations. You learn traditions from the grandparents and seniors in the family. Mom's and Dad's teach their children how to be respectful men and women and an asset to society. You learn about love, honesty and integrity. You learn about responsibility and making good choices. You learn that there is a positive and negative result for every choice you make in life. You learn hopefully, by parental example, how to correctly handle life's ups and downs.

LOVE

The main foundation for a great family is LOVE. GOD IS LOVE. Every family needs God to be successful, happy and complete. Most of us have learned what true love is from what we have experienced within our own families as children. We learn true love as children and we grow to love others and make our own families from our child time experiences. If you were brought up in a family who's parents love you and each other you will be able to have your own family and rely on your childhood as a good example to follow. When you are raised around true love you should be able to spot that quality in others as well, and choose a partner accordingly. If you were not brought up in a loving home as a child you will have to work a little harder to be loving and find a good loving partner. Children from disfunctional families tend to attract that same disfunction to them and cause the disfunction to carry on from one gereration to another, and from one family to another. God will teach you what true love is and help you to be lovable. God will help you find the right partner who will have true love for you in return. Emotionally balanced loving indivisuals, make emotionally balanced loving families. Even if just one member of the family is struggling emotionally it can upset the whole family unit.

It is impossible to have a good lasting relationship with anyone in this world without true love. God is true love. Knowing God and Him living inside of you is the ONLY WAY you can possess true love. If someone does not know the ONE TRUE GOD they do not know true love.

If you don't love God and yourself, you will never be an asset to society and good family material for anyone. We have to love ourselves. Love (GOD) must be in each person indivisually. If you don't love yourself or if you are broken hearted and have emotional pain, you will be constantly striking out against others and hurting them. You will be emotionally imbalanced and insecure. So many children are hurt early in life and never heal. They grow to be emotionally hurt adults. The first thing a therapist does is question your childhood and find out when you were happy and at what age did the unhappiness start. That's where the healing has to start. Having a happy well balanced spirit and soul makes you the indivisual you need to be in order to have a happy relationship with another person. You have to love yourself and be emotionally sound before you are able to love others unconditionally and get along with others. Too many people get married with emotional pain and baggage expecting their spouse to heal their pain and make them happy. You need to be a happy emotionally balanced person before you get in a serious relationship with anyone. If you are a good parent you will recognize emotional pain in your children. It is your responsibility as a parent to have a close relationship with your children and make sure that you are not only providing for their physical needs but their emotional and spiritual needs as well. If you are immature and emotionally weak you will not be able to be in a happy relationship with anyone as an adult.

Real love has nothing to do with how much money a person has or how a person looks. True love has nothing to do with what you see, nothing physical and nothing material. This is something children should be taught at a young age. Just because someone has a pretty face does not mean they have their life together. There is alot of pretty faces in this world. You should be more than a pretty face. We are drawn to people initially because of their outward appearance. The real person is who you are on the inside. That is the person you fall in love with and that is the person you have to get to know. If the only thing you have to offer someone is a pretty face or a great body you have alot of work to do.

True love is unconditional. Again true love is usually learned as a child. You learn true love from your parents and from your relationship with God. It is not based on what a person can give you or do for you. Love is spiritual. You can not see love but true love will cause you to act a certain way and treat people a certain way. You can be kind and generous to people you don't love but you can not truly love someone without being kind and generous to them. God knows your heart.

When people have real love, they will be understanding, trusting, compromising and forgiving. We learn as children that family sticks together through thick and thin. When one is hurting we help them find their way back to happiness. When you really love someone you are willing to sacrifice all you have for them. You don't want to see them hurt. You don't want to see them suffer. You don't have to always get your way, that is selfishness. True love is not selfish. Love will give the benefit of doubt and will believe the best of each other. True love for each other will keep you honest and truthful with one another without secrets. Love and friendship work together in a family. Friends support one another. They will be strong when one is weak. They will look out for each other, and never let anyone come between them. They will try to protect one another from harm or pain. They will want to see one another be all they can be, full of success, happiness and joy. When you love someone you will be obligated to give them correction or constructive criticism. When you have real love and friendship for someone, you will want to be honest and truthful with them. If you see their life off course you will give them constructive criticism and help them see where they are going wrong. Let them know you will stand by them and help them find their way back on track. You just want them to be the best they can be.

It is hard to have a good Christian relationship when one or both partners have worldy friends. If your friends are always trying to get you to go out and leave your partner behind or influence you to have fun with other people, that will cause major problems in your relationship. Have friends that enjoy and respect you and your partner. If your friends do not respect your relationship and your partner then you need to make new friends.

FORGIVENESS

The second main ingredient in a good family is forgiveness. If we hurt each other with words, actions or attitudes, we must ask for forgiveness. Families are close. You live in the same house, share the same room, maybe even work together as well. When you are in a constant interaction with someone you will definitely disagree from time to time. That's alright. You respect the other person's point of view. Listen to one another and come to a happy compromise. Most of the time when we hurt the ones we love, we are not doing it intentionally. Sometime you don't even realize you have offended someone. You have to speak up and keep the atmosphere clean, peaceful and happy. Families are a constant work. Don't let pride or self righteousness hold you back from apologizing to someone. God has had me to apologize to people when it wasn't even my fault just to keep peace within the family unit. When there is unforgiveness and strife in a household, it upsets everyone in the house. True love for one another does not want strife. If there is constant strife and arguing, someone is having a love problem. If someone comes to you and ask for forgiveness or offers you an apology, we have to be willing to forgive. If you hold back forgiveness from someone, you are not hurting them you are only hurting you. The moment the other person apologized they were set free in God's eyes and in their own soul. We have to both give and receive love and both give and receive forgiveness to walk out our daily lives the way God expects. None of us are perfect. We all have flaws. No marriage or relationship is perfect. No family is perfect. Things are going to happen and people will slip up sometime and hurt one another. LOVE FORGIVES! Be ready to overlook someones mistakes. The bible says not to let the sun go down on your anger. The quicker you put a problem behind you and let it go the better off you will be, and the happier your family and your household will be.

DATING

The beginning of a relationship is dating. You should not start dating until you are mature enough. I have people write me and ask me at what age is dating appropriate? The emotional and spiritual maturity of a person determines when they are ready to date. A person should not date if they can not afford it. Teach your children they have to work and save to pay for things they want. I have a 16 year old boy who wanted to start dating. He is mature christian boy, but he didn't have a job. I said you can't date if you can't afford to date. So he got a job. This helps set the age for dating as well.

People should not date if they think that dating means sex. People should not date if they are not able to make safe, good decisions on their own. You should not date if you can not keep it just on a friendship level. These standards are for grown men and women who are dating, not just for teenagers. If you are a shy person or If you have a shy timid daughter who is afraid to speak up for herself, you might want to hold back dating until she is able to speak up and make choices on her own. If she is off with a boy and the boy tries to get her to do something she is not comfortable with, will she be strong enough to say, no, take me home? Will she just go along with the situation because she wants to keep him as a friend and she is afraid she might hurt his feelings? Grown men and women need to have this same standard when dating as well. I have talked to numerous 30 and 40 year olds who are too immature to date. They think just because they are going to dinner or a movie with someone, they automatically think they are going to have sex with the person. Just because you are an adult does not mean the rules are different for you in God's eyes. If teenagers shouldn't do it you shouldn't do it either. I know alot of grown single men and women who are not capable of just being friends with someone of the opposite sex. Alot of grown people can not even accept a friendly gesture from the opposite sex without reading something into it. You should be able to be friendly and do nice friendly things for people of the opposite sex without expecting something more serious. If you can not separate friendship from an intimate serious relationship then I don't think you are mature enough to date no matter how old you are. Many things has to be considered before dating.

Don't allow your emotions to grow deeper than a friendship with someone of the opposite sex who is not on the same spiritual and emotional level as you are. Part of being a mature sensible person is being able to choose good friends. You should start teaching your children how to choose good friends when they are young. When children do not learn to choose good friends when they are young they will grow to be adults who do not choose good friends. You teach your children if that little boy or little girl is mean to you or does bad things then stay away from them and make a new friend. Adults seem to forget that when they become adults. You end up acting like the people you hang out with so choose good friends. You also need to be the person and the friend you want someone to be to you.

You need to be a single, complete, emotionally balanced mature child of God before you can be a complete balanced emotionally stable partner. A relationship can not work if there is one sided love. There is a really foolish statement that I have heard people say say and that is " I have enough love for both of us" I have also heard it said that "they will learn to love me more in time." If both partners are not absolutely in love with one another, and on the same emotional level, then you should not jump into a marriage agreement. There is no such thing as love at first sight. It takes time to fall in love with someone. You can be instantly drawn to someone and want to love them but love is not absolute and instant. People who get married within days or weeks of meeting someone is just foolish. You don't know someone well enough to marry them after just a few days or a few weeks.

You should date long enough to really know the person and their family very well. I don't mean internet dating. I mean one on one flesh to flesh dating, talking, interacting with one another. You should become good friends with them and their family. If your whole family dislikes the person you are dating you might want to consider their opinion. Most of the time your loved ones, parents, siblings, grandparents and children want the best for you. If you are dating someone that they do not like or does not have positive things to say about you should find out why and be mature and honest enough to consider their opinion. You might want to reconsider having a serious relationship with someone that your family does not like or get along with. Expecially if they have to live in the same house with you, like your children.

You should date the person long enough to see how they handle themselves under crisis and stress. See if they can be self sufficient and how they handle themselves financially. Find out what their strengths and weaknesses are and if they are willing to compromise their morals when under pressure or temptations. Find out what their goals are in life and how they expect to reach them. Find out how much family means to them. Find out how they are with you when you need help. Are they a comforting place for you to run to? All these things are extremely important in a relationship. After dating someone for a while and you see that certain problems or issues come up all the time between the two of you, you may have to just admit that you are not compatible and just move on to another relationship. Maybe the person you are dating is slowing you down from reaching goals and desires you and God have for your life. Be mature enough to move on. Don't stay in a dating relationship with someone that you know is not going to be able to lead to a serious happy relationship. If you are wrapped up in a bad relationship with a person you are not compatible with, you won't be able to see the good partner God has for you out there.

You should date someone long enough that your love for one another is tested and tried. Everyone has disagreements and argues. How does your partner handle disagreements? Do they loose their temper and become violent? Do they keep on and on till you give in and let them have their way? Do they manipulate your emotions and play on your weaknesses to get what they want? Do they whine and cry and pout until they get what they want? Are they willing to talk out disagreements and come to a mature compromise? All these things are important and if not settled BEFORE marriage you will find yourself unhappy and regretful.

Everybody has different personalities. Christians and nonchristians have different personalities. Some personalities are more compatible with one another than others. You need to date someone long enough to make sure your personalities are compatible. Some people's idea of fun is a quiet intimate dinner with a friend. Others like a rowdy loud enviroment. Your idea of fun has to be the same as your partner. Alot of people get divorced because they think their partner is boring and no fun. Can you settle daily issues and think alike on most things or is it a big deal with every little issue. Are you constantly having to be the one who compromises and gives in to keep peace in the relationship? Just because you are not compatible with someone does not necessarily mean you are right and they are wrong or vice versa, it just means they do not compliment your personality and are not someone you could be in a permanent close relationship with like marriage.

There is an old saying that opposites attract. We are sometimes attracted to a quality in a person that we wish we were or could be. But if the opposition in a person causes you pain, offense, unhappiness and stress then you need to get away from them. You have to know what kind of people compliment your personality and what kind irritate you, and choose your friends accordingly. Don't choose a friend or have a dating relationship with someone who's personality traits are going to aggravate you and keep you upset all the time. That should be common sense.

God puts all kinds of people in our lives. Some are there just to be an occasional friend. Some are to be a teacher or role model. Some are for temporary purposes and some are their for a lifetime. Just because someone is not marriage material for you does not mean they can not be a good friend to you on occasion. And just because someone is a good friend to go to the movie together or to play a good match of tennis with does not mean they are marriage material. Take your time in your relationships and don't rush into a marriage relationship until you are absolutely sure they are the one. Make sure they complement your life and have the same goals and morals.

SEX

Sleeping with someone outside of marriage is absolutely against God's will. It is wrong for dating teenagers and dating adults. Fornication and adultry are obviously sins that will not only keep you out of Heaven, but will cause you emotional and spiritual confusion in a relationship. Your focus turns to a physical relationship which can cause you to overlook the person someone is on the inside. The person on the inside is the real you and the one you need to fall in love with, not their body. Letting yourself fall in love with someone just because they have a pretty face or a good body is very foolish and shallow. There are alot of pretty faces in this world. My goodness, Satan was the most beautiful of all the angels. Pretty does not mean good. Learn to look past soemones outward appearance and get to know the person on the inside.

You curse yourself physically and spiritually when you have sex outside of marriage. The world totally accepts sex outside of marriage but God does not. The world thinks dating automatically includes sex, but it doesn't. What is sad is that I spoke to some teenagers who think this as well. They think it because their parents do it, they see it on television, and no one is telling them any different. DATING DOES NOT MEAN SEX!!! Sex is for married people ONLY. Real men and women can control their sexual urges and make good moral decisions if they want to. Just because you are an adult does not mean it is alright to have sex outside of marriage. Some adults have children with this person and another child with that person so they feel well we already have a kid together so why should I worry about abstinance now. Or you have a teenager who has made a mistake and had sex outside of marriage so they think well I already lost my virginity so why should I act like a virgin now. Just because you have made some mistakes does not mean you keep on making the same mistake over and over. You stop and do different. Repent actually means stop and turn the other way. If you have made bad choices, ask Jesus to forgive you and start making good choices. It is just that simple. You don't say your sorry for the bad choices you have made but keep making the same choices over and over again. You have to say I have made a choice to not have sex anymore till I get married. It does not matter if you are a grown man or a grown woman, God does not give you a free pass. Sex outside of marriage is wrong. God does not care who you are or how old you are, it is a sin that you will be held accountable for. If you know you are weak in this area and you always give in then don't allow yourself to be in that position or in a circumstance that you can not walk away from. KNOW YOUR WEAKNESSES so Satan can not use them against you. If you are a woman and you feel you can only keep your man if you sleep with him then he is not the right man for you. You deserve a man who will respect you. If he does not respect your decision then walk away and find someone else who does. Men are not the only one who uses sex. Women manipulate men with sex all the time to get what they want. Women know this is usually a man's weak spot. It has been like this since Jesus's day. There are no new tricks in life.

If you are dating and interested in getting married, God has someone special for you. God will lead you to just the right person who will compliment your personality and help you to be the person you need to be. God has a person of the opposite sex for you who you will be completely happy with. God made woman for man, and man for woman. God did not plan for people of the same sex to marry. If you are dating someone and carrying on a homosexual relationship with them, you need to stop. Homosexuality is a sin in God's eyes and always will be. It is a damnation that will secure you a place in Hell for eternity. Most women and men like hanging out with their own sex. They have a best friend or a companion who likes to do the same things they like to do and they really enjoy one another's company. People have friends of the same sex that they love to talk to and they feel really understands them. I love to get with a girlfriend and go to lunch, go shopping, get our hair and nails done together; it is much more fun than going off with my husband doing those kinds of things. I shared my first apartment with a girl from high school. She was a wonderful roommate. We really enjoyed one another and had some great fun. But we never had sex with one another nor did we even think about that sort of thing. She was like a sister. That was perfectly fine in God's eyes. You can enjoy someone's company and friendship without having sex and engaging in homosexual thoughts and behavior. My husband likes a guy friend to play sports with, watch sports, go fishing, talk about work or cars and do those things that guys like to do together. That is perfectly fine in God's eyes too. I am so very glad my husband has guy friends to talk to about those things because they really do not interest me at all. But if you start wanting to have sex with that friend and do things with them that are unnatural you have crossed the line. Don't let Satan tempt you and lie to you saying this is just who you are and you were born this way. God did not make you a homosexual. Homosexuality is a sexual perversion from Satan. It is a sin and temptation that you have given into either of your own choosing or a generational curse that has been passed on to you from your parents. Generational curses need to be broken and your weaknesses need to be dealt with and conquered. It is a spiritual and emotional problem that You need to get professional help with. Just because society has decided to make homosexuality acceptible does not mean it is acceptible in God's eyes. God would not tell you that something is a sin and unacceptable behavior if you did not have the ability to stop it. We are able to overcome every sin and temptation that pulls us away from the holiness of God through the blood of Jesus. If you truly accept Jesus Christ as your personal Savior you have the strength to fight homosexual desires and renew your thinking. The blood of Jesus has the power to cleanse us from ALL SIN, IF we want it to. If you want to hold on to your sinfullness, God will allow you to. It is a choice and a decision you have to make. You choose to give into homosexuality or you choose to resist it. God will allow you your freedom of choice.

Romans 1:24-27 & 32, "Wherefore God also gave them up to uncleanness through the lusts of their own hearts, to dishonor their own bodies between themselves. Who changed the truth of God into a lie, and worshipped and served the creature more than the Creator, who is blessed forever. A-men! For this cause God gave them up to vile affections; for even their women did change the natural use into that which is against nature; And likewise also the men, leaving the natural use of the woman, burned in their lust one toward another; men with men working that which is unseemly and receiving in themselves that recompence of their error which was meet. Who knowing the judgement of God, that they which commit such things are worthy of death, not only do the same, but have pleasure in them that do them."

MARRIAGE

After dating someone for a while and you absolutely know they are the one that you want to spend the rest of your life with, then you might want to consider marriage. Marriage should be between mature men and women. Marriage is not meant for teenagers and immature people. Marriage is a serious commitment. It takes work to hold a marriage together. If you are not ready to give up parties, dating, games, and toys then you are not ready for marriage. If you are not ready for a monagomous relationship and ready to just be with one person for the rest of your life, then you are not ready for marriage. Get all the dating out of your system before you get married. Your priorities have to change from it being all about you to include and consider the feelings and desires of a partner and be able to compromise and work things out as a team. I know 30, 40, 50 year old people who still act like and think like they did in high school. 1 Corinthians 13:11, "When I was a child, I spake as a child, I understood as a child, and I thought as a child; When I became a man I put away childish things." If you want to have a serious marriage that will last, you have to act like an adult and do mature adult things. You have to be responsible and unselfish.

You should not marry till you finish school, have a college degree and secured employment so you can take care of yourself financially. If you can not afford to be married then don't get married. In these times it is just as much the responsibility of the woman to get a college degree and have steady income and employment as the man. However I think the man should be able to provide his family with basic necessities of life like home, transportation and food before he decides to have a family and bring children into the world. If you do not prepare financially for a marriage and a family you are just asking for hardtimes down the road.

Every family starts out with the lawful union of a man and woman as husband and wife. God takes our marriage commitments and vows very seriously.

When you take your marriage vows before God and others and vow to "love honor and cherish for better or worse, till death do you part", you better mean it in God's eyes. God knows that tensions will arise and disagreements will happen in a marriage but you better know how to work it out and rely on God for guidance. Don't be so quick to throw in the towel and get a divorce. Some people get married just to have babies or try it out for a while with the intension of getting a divorce later on if they get bored. You're not suppose to get married unless you are willing to hang in there through thick and thin till death. You should not jump in to a marriage commitment until you are sure that this person is someone who you are compatible with and can tolerate 24 hours a day, because that is what a marriage is.

The strength of your marriage depends on the depth of your love and commitment to your spouse. A lot of marriages do not last even days now, because couples are not really in love but are rather in lust or infatuated with one another. They have not taken the time to really get to know the other person. Then when the normal trials and tribulations of life come along, they are not strong enough to hold on to one another and work it out.

If you date someone long enough you will see what kind of character a person has and if they have a personality that is compatible with yours or not. Just because 2 people are not compatible for marriage does not mean that one is right and one is wrong it just means you are not meant to be married. Some personalities just clash. They may not be perfect for you but absolutely perfect for someone else.

Don't marry someone who you have a plan to try to change. If they have too many problems or too much baggage and not able to be in a respectful pleasant relationship then stay away from them. They are not the right person for you. Don't be so desperate and insecure that you have to latch on to the first person that comes along. God has the right person out there for everyone.

If you are already married and you are having relationship problems you may need to seek some GODLY counsel. Read your bible and find out what God has to say about your situation. Do not share your problems with your friends, especially not your unsaved friends, or with people who are not objective or who is ungodly because they will not give you good advice. If you need relationship advice then seek someone who has a good relationship themselves, who cares about you and your partner and who knows what God has to say about your situation.

Psalm 1:1-2, "Blessed is the man that walketh not in the counsel of the ungodly, nor standeth in the way of sinners, nor sitteth in the seat of the scournful. But his delight is in the law of the Lord and in his law doeth he meditate day and night."

James 1:5, "If any of you lack wisdom, let him ask of God, that giveth to all men liberally and upbraideth not; and it shall be given him."

God has ALL your answers. Ask God what to do and He will tell you. Just be willing to follow Him no matter what He says. If He says get away from a relationship then get away. If He tels yu to hang in there and work it out then do that.

So many people now days are just interested in what a person looks like or the material possessions they have. They jump into an unhealthy relationship and then stay in an unhealthy relationship for the wrong reasons. Society puts too much pressure on one another to be married by a certain age or at least be in a serious relationship with someone. Some people are perfectly happy never getting married. They enjoy dating someone when they want to date and being by themselves when they want to be alone. They enjoy having a friend to do certain things with and thats as far as they take it. God is alright with that. God does not say everyone needs to get married. Don't rush a relationship to a permanent serious level just because of the pressures from friends family or American traditions. Don't jump into a marriage relationship for financial purposes or because you want to have sex whenever you want to. Just take your time and be sure.

If you are married God expects us to give all we have to our partner and be there for them no matter what. Wives, we are to look out for our man and take care of him. Feed him and clean for him, uplift him and encourage him. Take care of his physical needs, sexual needs, and emotional needs. Honor and respect him as the head of the household.

In a marriage, the bible says in Hebrews 13:4, "Marriage is honorable in all, and the bed undefiled; but whoremongers and adulterers God will judge." That means you can have all the sex you want with one another. You can not bring in other people. You can not be thinking about other people. You can not exploit one another and share your sexual experiences with others. You should not watch other people's sexual experiences either. This is pornography and it is wrong. Sex in a marriage is suppose to be a private intimate expression of your love for one another that only the two of you share with one another and no one else.

Having sex of any kind with someone other than your spouse is one of the few reasons why God allows divorce. Sex outside of your marriage is wrong and God says you do not have to put up with it.

Men are to take care of their wives. Provide for all their necessities of shelter, food, and safety. Take care of her physical, sexual
and emotional needs. Uplift her, encourage her, and make her feel special and beautiful. Honor and respect her.
Though one person maybe strong, two together are stronger. With God in the relationship, the two become three. Three people
standing together are strong and not easily defeated.

Loving your husband or wife and developing a friendship with one another will truly give you a marriage that will last. This is all
God wants for us; to love Him and to love one another. It's a simple request, really, but it seems to be the hardest thing for us to do. We
have to know what true love is, then find someone we are attracted to who also knows what true love is.
This is why God recommends that Christians stick together. If you are a true Christian and have accepted Jesus as your Savior, that true love of God on the inside of you joined with the true love of God on the inside of your spouse and your marriage will be easier.

CHILDREN

Couples should not consider having children until they are sure they have a lasting and loving relationship and marriage. Don't bring children into a relationship that is already stressful. Disfunctional people and disfunctional couples will have disfunctional children. Some couples think if they have children it will help their relationship but this is not true. Children can put even more strain and conflict in a relationship. It just is not fair to one another or to the children to have a relationship where there is constant arguing and drama. Children need a loving stable peaceful enviroment to grow and feel safe. If they don't have it they will have behavior problems and insecurities of their own. God expects parents to love their children and teach them right from wrong the same way God loves us, His children.

Children learn by example and what they live. Children with bad behavior is usually because of their home life. These children are just reacting the best way they can to their environment and surroundings. These children are probably just angry and confused, trying to survive and cope with everything that is going on around them. Stop medicating your children and spend some time with them loving them and making them feel special. That's all they really want and need.

Spending time with your children is extremely important. You will have an emotional attachment to whatever and whoever you spend alot of time with. If you spend more time with your job, your car or other people than your children, you will have more of an emotional attachment to the other things. Your children are counting on you for love, fun, security, protection and nurturing. They deserve your time. You could make a change today if you have been falling short. Children are very forgiving, especially when they are young.

You must also set boundaries and limits for your children. You have to talk to them and tell them what you expect from them,
and then be an example for them to follow. Don't tell your kids not to smoke but you do. Don't tell them not to curse but you do. Don't expect them to be honest, sweet, kind and caring people if you are not. Children are the fruit of their parents. If you want good kids you need to be good and set a good example for them to follow. If you are a single parent, don't expect your teenager to be a virgin until they get married if you are sleeping with people outside of marriage. If you are married and you cheat on your spouse and the kids know it you are setting a bad example for them to follow when they get married. If children mess up—and they will—you should have told them about the consequences and punishment for their bad choices in advance so they know what to expect. Then, follow through with whatever you've said. Make sure the punishment is in balance, or equal to, appropriate, for the bad behavior. Don't tell them how bad they are, tell them how wrong their behavior is and how it is unacceptable. Tell them what kind of behavior you expect from them and then be their example to follow.

This is what God does to us as His children. He tells us how we are to live and what He expects from us, as well as what will happen to us if
we do not listen to Him and obey. He disciplines us because He loves us and so should we discipline our children because we love them.

Most children and teenagers are not mature enough or educated enough to find the right words to express their inner pain. Since they can't verbally express themselves they act out any way they can. When your child starts acting rebellious, angry, withdrawn, sad, or different than usual, you should talk to them and find out why. Don't be so worked up over your own issues that you don't recognize the pain your children are feeling. Don't think because they are children their pain is less than yours because that is not true either.

I believe the biggest problem we have with our children is the spirit of rebellion. We are born into this world rebellious. If children are not properly trained and disciplined at a young age that spirit of rebellion will stay with them and they will be rebellious teenagers and eventually rebellious adults. There is nothing worse than having a rebellious child. They will upset the whole family structure and cause major problems with the other siblings and the parents.

If you have an angry rebellious child, find out what the problem is and correct it. You might be the problem. Don't expect your kids to control their emotions and behavior if you can't control yours.

You can have a happy marriage but have rebellious children. If you do not spend proper time with your children loving them, playing games with them and creating happy memories it causes them to feel separted from you emotionally and that can make them rebellious. Children want to know they are special and loved by their parents. Spending time with them, laughing, hugging and telling them how much you love them is extremely important to their emotional development. Children have to have happy times to look forward to and remember throughout childhood. Children understand parents have to work and they have to go to school, but they want to know that you have put aside some special time just for them each day or at least each week. It is proven kids do better when families have meals together. Why? because that is a special time everyday that the children know everything will be put on hold and they will all come together to talk and be with one another, even if it is only for 30 minutes a day. Children of divorce like to know that even though Mom and Dad do not live together I still get to see each of them at certain times every week. Don't deny your kids time with their parents and grandparents. Don't try to spoil their time with them by arguing and upsetting everyone. Parents of divorce should not talk bad and negative about the other parent. This also upsets the children.

If you are a parent with several children, you have to find a way to spend special time with each one individually. Don't throw them all together and just treat them all the same. Don't expect your 15 year old to enjoy going to Chuck E Cheese every week with your 2 year old. Spend time with each one doing age appropriate things. Find out what is important to them and help them pursue their interest and dreams.

You also have to spend time teaching them right from wrong and disciplining your children when they do something wrong. A lack of discipline and limits will make your children wild and rebellious as well. You can't be afraid to discipline your children when they do wrong just because you want to be their friend and you don't want to make them mad at you. Your children can not make the rules in the family and get their way all the time. They may not like the discipline at first but they will respect you later and learn valuable life lessons if you follow through and not give in. You have to teach your children at an early age that they are responsible for their choices in life and there is consequences to bad behavior and rewards for good behavior. It is alot easier to get a grip on your children when they are 3, 4, 7,and 9, instead of waiting till they are 14, 16, or 18 years old.

Take your children to church. God holds parents responsible for their children's spiritual up bringing. Teach them by example and help them to associate with other godly people. Teach them how to choose good godly friends. Teach them to be strong enough to avoid ungodly people who make ungodly choices. God does not make children pay for the sins of the parents, but the sins of the parents can so greatly influence the thinking, behavior and beliefs of the child that the child will grow to make some of the same bad choices in life that the parents did. It is never too late to get your children on the right track. It is easier when they are younger but it is never too late to start doing the right thing.

Parents today don't seem to even recognize rebellion early enough and deal with it properly. Children have different personalities. Some children are passive and some are aggressive. Don't confuse rebellion with an outgoing aggressive personality. A strong outgoing personality is great if the parents help the children to focus that passion in the right direction. An untrained, undisciplined, aggressive personality can get you into alot of trouble. In most circumstances, you don't have a stick an ADHD label on your kids and medicate them to suppress bad behavior. Spend some time with them loving them and teaching them how to discipline themselves and focus their energy in a constructive manner. You can recognize rebellion even in a small 1 year old. They start to walk and get into things they shouldn't right away. They start to talk and talk back, saying things they shouldn't right away. You have to teach and discipline your children starting at an early age. You do it with love and gentleness. You make them aware at an early age what type of behavior is acceptable and unacceptable. Even children at age 2 and 3 are easily taught and can learn right and wrong behavior and right and wrong attitudes. By the time they are ready for kindergarden they should be generally well mannered, polite and obedient. If not you as the parent are slipping. You need to find out what you are doing wrong and change your ways and the way you are training your children. CHILDREN LEARN WHAT THEY LIVE! Don't expect your kids to be well mannered, polite, kind, unselfish, quiet and happy if you are not. Have you ever heard "The fruit does not fall far from the tree?" That means your kids will turn out just like you. They will pick up your bad behavior or your good behavior. Your bad spiritual issues can be easily transfered to your children. Your good spiritual presence can also be transfered to your children. You have complete control on how your children turn out. If you want great kids who are pleasant to be around and an asset to society then spend time with them and make it happen. Don't count on daycare to raise your kids or public school or other ungodly people in your neighborhood. It's not their job and you will not like the outcome.

Being a good example for your children is very important when they are young but it is even more important once they become teenagers. Teenagers watch your actions and listen to your words as you interact with the world. If your teenage daughter she's you dating different men and having sleepovers but you are telling her to save herself for marriage, she just thinks of you as a hypocrite and really has no respect for your words. Don't tell your teenage boys to drive carefully and respect the law if you are an idiot out on the roads yourself. Your teenagers will mimic your bad behavior when you are not around. If you don't want your teenagers cursing, drinking and smoking then you shouldn't do it either. God's laws of right and wrong are the same for adults as they are for teenagers. If you as an adult have not learned to control your emotions and hormonal impulses why would you expect your teenage children to be able to do it? We as himan being are capable at any age of controlling ourselves and making good choices in life if we want to. Otherwise God would not instruct us to do it. He will not tell us to do something that is impossible for us.

If you have children it is time to grow up and act like an adult. You need to have integrity, honesty and self respect so you can teach your children integrity, honesty and self respect. Treat your children the way God treats you. Be a good example for your children the way God is a good example for us.

The children of today are our future for tomorrow. A few generations of bad parenting can raise up a few generation of horrible adults who can change this world into a place where we do not want to live. Take the time to raise good children who will grow to be good adults and make some positive influence on this world we are living in.

You can't spoil your kids and buy them everything they want. That is another major problem with kids today. Kids are so spoiled. They don't think they should earn anything nor do they want to wait. They want it now and they want it without working for it. Matthew 19:23, " ..that a rich man shall hardly enter into the kingdom of Heaven." God is not saying being wealthy will keep you out of Heaven, He is saying the rebellion and attitude that many rich people have will keep you from Heaven. The covetous attitude of aquiring more and more stuff is an ungodly attitude. When you love your stuff more than you love life and people that is a major problem. The rich seem to think they can do anything they want. They think they have power over those who do not have money. They treat people as if they are less than them because they have money and you don't. They tend to think they are an exception to rules and laws, because they are rich. When parents give there children everything they want they will get the same bad attitude of rebellion, pride and vanity. Spoiled rebellious kids grow to be spoiled rebellious adults. Those kind of attitudes are sinful and hard to get along with. God does not tolerate that attitude in Heaven and we should not tolerate that attitude from our children in our households. When you spoil your kids you are not exercising good parenting you are making them hard to get along with. God holds you responsible for training your children up in the way they should go. God holds you responsible for teaching your children love, kindness and generousity. Proverbs 22:6, "Train up a child in the way he should go and when he is old he will not depart from it."

There is so much electronic toys and gadgets and kids want all of them. Parents are just as bad. Children watch their parents running out buying every little thing that comes out and they think that is how you are suppose to live. I've seen grown adults that live week to week pay check to pay check take their electric money or food money and go buy a new iphone or some kind of electronics. Is that crazy or what. Get your priorities in order. Spoiled adults raise spoiled children. You have to set limits and let your kids help earn some of the things they want. When I was a kid, if there was something I really wanted and it was not Christmas or my birthday, I had to babysit or do something to earn the money to buy it. It wasn't that my parents could not afford to get it for me, they could, but it taught me values to earn it myself sometime. I didn't have a list every week of things my parents needed to buy me. You should not spoil your children. It makes them have a bad attitude and it sets them up for disappointment in life when they expect the world to treat them the same way their parents did. They think they can lazy around on a job and still get paid. Or not have a job and let the government to take care of them. Teach your children the value of a dollar and how to work for things they want in life.

Find balance with buying your children material possessions and toys. It is just as wrong to never give your kids anything as it is to spoil them and give them everything they want. Buy your kids birthday gifts, Christmas gifts or just go out shopping having fun with one another from time to time. Don't go out shopping for yourself and never get the kids anything. I know several parents that do this too. The parents look like a million bucks but the kids have dirty holey shoes and clothes. I know one Mom inparticular who shops almost everyday buying herself new stuff but she never buys her kids anything. She skips right over birthdays and Christmas. If her kids get new things it's from extended family and friends. She even relies on extended family and the government to buy the children's school supplies, clothes and shoes. I think this is so sad and selfish. If you don't have the money to buy your kids things and you HAVE TO rely on other people that is a different story. But if the children know you can buy them something and they are forever watching you buy new things for yourself it doesn't teach them good character when you skip holidays and never buy them things. It makes them angry and resentful and jealous of others who do enjoy these priveledges.

DIVORCE AND REMARRIAGE

There are so many blended and mixed families today. Divorce and remarriage has really hurt alot of children. We have generation after generation of kids now who are products of a divorced family. Divorce hurts children. Divorce is not just hard on the adults it is hard for the children too. I believe it is even harder on the kids because they are emotionally immature and can not understand what is going on. We have parents that are marrying and divorcing and forcing the kids to accept other "mom and dad" figures and other children as "brothers and sisters". This is very confusing to a child. This causes children to become scared, angry and even more rebellious because they do not like what their parents are putting them through and the situation they are having to deal with. So we have a generation of kids who are rude, disrespectful, angry, resentful, and emotionally hurt and upset. Hurting people hurt others. Divorce and remarriage is a big deal in God's eyes. God knows how difficult it is to maintain an emotionally stable family with children who have gone through a divorce. Children feel their stability and security is shakened. Some feel they are being forced into situations that they have no control over or have no say so about. They are being forced to live with people that they don't even like most of the time. They see their parents dating and kissing other people and that is hard to except. It is already a task and takes time for a single, never been married, emotionally secure adult to find the right partner and have a good relationship and family with. The problem with most divorced parents, is they are so selfish they are only interested in their own happiness and don't consider the child's feelings. Kid's have feelings too. If you don't want angry rebellious kids then don't force them into a situation they don't like with people they don't want to live with. Colossians 3:21, "..provoke not your children to anger, lest they be discouraged." Some children are so hurt and unhappy at home they feel hopeless and feel like life is just too awful and not worth living. Children should not feel this way. Love your kids and help them find joy and happiness. Consider their feelings long and short term before you make a big decision like marriage or divorce.

The bible says if you are married then stay with it and work it out. Put forth the time and trouble it takes to have a happy relationship. If you choose to not be married and get divorced then stay divorced. In most cases it is easier to work on the marriage you already have than try to go out and find a new one especially if there are children involved. If you just can't stand the marriage partner you have and divorce is the only answer then get divorced and focus on raising your children and make sure they are happy and acceptable with the situation before you remarry. God holds you responsible for the well being of your children. Don't scar them emotionally then wonder what in the world happened when they are acting rebellious and a menace to society.

If you are in a dating relationship with someone and you do not get along then end the relationship and move on. Don't commit and marry someone you are not compatible with. Don't waste your life and time staying in a relationship that is not meant to be and just is not going to work out. If you are married and you are having problems, God expects you to do all you can to heal the relationship and keep the family together. God says He hates divorce but He will allow it in cases like cheating, abandonment, or violence and abuse. No one has to tolerate this kind of behavior.

Mathew 5:32, "Whosoever puts away his wife saving for the cause of fornication, causes her to commit adultry; and whosoever marrys her that is divorced commits adultry."

Deuteronomy 24:1, "When a man hath taken a wife and marries her, and it comes to pass that she finds no favor in his eyes because he hath found some uncleanness in her, then let him write her a bill of divorcement and give it in her hand and send her out of his house."

This world acts very flipid about marriage and divorce. People either don't marry at all and just sleep around and live with this one and then with that one, having babies by two, three or four different men, or they marry then divorce and marry another for a while and then divorce again. Hollywood is well known for this behavior and I believe has influence society to think it is acceptable behavior. We are not suppose to live our lives according to Hollywood standards, the worlds standards, or by what the government says is right and wrong. We have to evaluate our lives and line it up with the word of God. He makes the rules.

Romans 7:2&3, "For the woman which hath a husband is bound by the law to her husband as long as he liveth; but if the husband be dead she is loosed from the law of her husband. So then while her husband liveth she be married to another man she shall be called an adulteress; but if her husband be dead, she is free from that law, so that she is no adulteress though she be married to another man." Everyone will be held accountable for this behavior. I know that the majority of the couples out there have either experienced divorce, living with someone you are not married to or at least had children with another person other than the person you are presently with. Just because something is lawful or socially acceptable does not make it right to God. Just because every person you know is breaking God's laws does not mean God is going to give you a pass on your bad behavior. You must live by God's biblical laws not by what the government or society says is right and wrong. When God destroyed the world in Noah's day by flood, God only found 8 people whom He saved. Every other man woman and child was destroyed. If you think God won't let everybody die, think again.

Some marriages have experienced infidelity. If you have been cheated on and the unfaithful partner is sorry and vows never to do it again, and you want to forgive and work things out to hold your marriage together that is alright with God. It takes alot of Godly strength to work through a situation like that. If both partners work together it can be done. Sometimes it is best to work on the marriage you have than have no marriage at all or try to find another person to marry.

It takes two people to hold a marriage together. One person can not do it all by themselves. One partner in the marriage may be faithful and loyal, fullfilling their marital role just the way God wants them to and the other one hates the marriage and wants to leave. The bible says just let the one leave if they want to leave. 1 Corinthians 7:15, "... if the unbelieving depart, let them depart." You can not make your partner stay with you. If they do not want to be there then let them go. God says however if you choose to leave your spouse and not keep your marriage together then you should remain unmarried. This is why you have to think divorce through real well before you do it. Would you rather forgive and work it out with the one you have or stay unmarried and not have a spouse at all? 1 Corinthians 7:10-11, "Let not the wife depart from her husband; but if she depart, let her remain unmarried or be reconciled to her husband."

If a marriage has one christian and one nonchristian but they choose to stay together then God says it's alright with Him. 1 Corinthians 7:13-14, ".. the woman which hath a husband which believeth not and if he be pleased to dwell with her let her not leave him. For the unbelieving husband is sanctified by the wife and the unbelieving wife is sanctified by the husband; else were your children unclean now they are holy."

It is never too late to have a good family life. It doesn't matter if you are married or a single parent. Make an adult decision and get your family in order. Get your priorities in order. First make the decision and commitment to live your life the way God says is right. You and your children need to go to church. Go as a family. Your children need to see you doing the right things in life and how you react to the trials and tribulations in life. God holds parents 100% responsible for the wellbeing and spiritual education of the children. Not teaching your children about God and Jesus is neglect in God's eyes and just as bad as not feeding them or physically abusing them. If you really love your children you will teach them about God and take them to church. Spend family time together playing games or having a picnic. You don't have to have alot of money to have fun with your kids. Go for walks, ride a bike, play ball, fly a kite, go to the beach, draw, color, or read a book. There are plenty of things you could do.

Your family is not going to survive in these last days without God. The pressures and deception of the world is too great for you and your children to handle alone. In these last days families and finances will be shakened. If you are strong in these areas you will stand tall. If you are not strong you will fall and be defeated. Hebrews 12:27, "..the removing of those things that are shakened, as of things that are made, that those things which can not be shaken shall remain." The most important things in life and family is God, love, loyalty and commitment. These things hold a family together and can not be shaken; not material possessions. Be a strong man or woman of God. Don't be influenced by the sinfulness and wickedness of the world. Teach your children to have the same integrity and to love God and keep all His commandments. As an adult you have the authority, influence and ability to change your household for the better, so do it. Acts 16:31, "...Believe in the Lord Jesus and you will be saved, you and your household." Acts 11:14, "He will bring you a message through which you and all your household will be saved." Don't be ashamed of God. Don't be ashamed to stand strong and say, "As for me and my house, we will serve the Lord!" (Joshua 24:15)